There is always a breaking point when it comes to the in-between and it is never pretty. It’s like walking on a rope a top of a skyscraper and you either come out unscathed or drop into a deep depressive episode. There is literally no in-between.
Sėdi ir erziniesi. Erziniesi ir sėdi toliau. Vaikštai pirmyn atgal be didelio tikslo, nuo vieno buto kampo iki kito. Diena prabėga tuščiai, ramiai ir neįdomiai, net nepastebi kaip sutemsta. Jautiesi savimi keistai nusivylusi.
You hear the sound of a dog pacing around in your flat, claws against the floor, the subtle gentle scratch of the wood. The interesting part of it all is that you don’t have a dog.
Shit is getting real way too fast and the nights are long, way too long for your liking. In those painstakingly long hours you breathe uncertainty and loneliness seeps, bleeds into your bones.
I had a dream of a tall king looming, towering over me while I slept, whispering sweet nothings into my ear that gave me vividly horrifying nightmares. The Nightmare King would whisper silently, delicately all the things that terrified me in my waking hours.
Nebeatsimeni savo tikro vardo, bet ar yra koks skirtumas? Tu juk sergi šizofrenija, tebūna tavo vardas kaip priminimas žmonėms, kiek daug jie dar gali prarasti.
Po akimirkos supranti, kad labiausiai pyksti tik ant savęs, ant savęs ir nieko kito. Staigia vertikale tavo nuotaika neria į melancholijos ir depresijos dugną. Porą kartų apsisuka ore lyg dalyvautų lėktuvų šou.
Sometimes surviving is trying hard to fall asleep before you fall apart. Sometimes self-destruction is trying to keep going until you just physically cannot do it anymore.
I blackout. I fast forward to me sitting in my car in pajamas, driving through a popular street in the city. A five second feeling of an open window, wind and a warm summer night.
You think about the end of time quite often. And after that you feel the obligation to think about life as much as possible as well. It’s strange; you’ve wasted so much time just to understand the real meaning of it.